Couples Counselling

Fast Facts

  • Researchers have found that relationship distress is the single most frequent problem that clients present with in counselling
  • Researchers estimate that on average couples wait 6 years once problems develop before accessing counselling services
  • Currently, it's expected that 38.3% of all Canadian marriages will end in a divorce before the 30th wedding anniversary (Statistics Canada)

How Couples Counselling Works

When working with couples, I attempt to create an environment where couples can participate in their relationship and interact with one another in ways that are more likely to promote helpful emotional expression as well as contribute to understanding their partner's thoughts, feelings and behavior. Couples often need specific information and instruction on how to communicate effectively with one another

Learning effective communication skills is only the first step towards a better relationship. Every partnership has conflict. Every relationship will have issues or difficulties that are in fact not solvable. Researchers have suggested that the difference between couples who have successful relationships and those that do not is how they handle these unresolvable conflicts.

Couples counselling usually consists of;

  • An assessment phase wherein the couple and I work together to determine where difficulties are in their relationship, identify problematic thoughts, feelings and behavior within their relationship and determine skills that may need to be acquired to help improve their relationship
  • A working phase wherein the couple deepens their understanding of each other, their relationship dynamic and experiments with a variety of new communication skills and interaction strategies
  • A maintenance phase wherein couples learn how to solidify and maintain the changes they have been experimenting with into the day to day aspects of their relationship and how to prevent a return to unhelpful patterns of interaction

Considering Couples Counselling?

  • It is important for both partners to feel a good connection with the therapist they select
  • It is important that both partners practice the skills and techniques they learn in therapy outside the therapy session
  • It is important to know that sometimes participating in couple counselling can affect the existing equilibrium of the relationship
  • It is unlikely that couple counselling will be successful if one person has firmly decided to exit the relationship permanently
  • If there is physical abuse in your relationship, individual counselling for each partner is advised

Potential Benefits of Couples Counselling

  • Improved sense of connectedness and emotional closeness
  • Better understanding of your partner, their thoughts, feelings and behavior
  • More effective communication between partners
  • Resolution of conflict around which there is a solution
  • Improved process in managing relationship conflict around issues that are unlikely to be resolved
  • Coming to terms with and moving beyond emotional injuries
  • Deepen and strengthen an already solid relationship